Saturday, September 22, 2018

Saturday, September 15, 2018

"He’s got the maturity of an eight-year-old boy with the insecurity of a teenage girl. That’s just who he is.”
                                                                                                           John Kerry about Trump

Monday, September 3, 2018

Nike tells Kap " Just do it"


Who knew Chinese detergent could wash blackness away?









When Robert Downey jnr (RDJ) was rumored to be wearing " blackface" for an upcoming movie, at the time, there was an uproar.

The movie was Tropic Thunder and back then, we didn't even need to see the movie..." Iron Man in blackface??????"
Then we watched the movie and we all laughed. It was brilliant and spoke to the genius of RDJ. No other actor could have played it without going overboard.

Then we have the above Chinese commercial that is implying that a black man is filthy and dirty and just by putting him in a washing machine, with their special detergent, will be cleaned of his dirt. He comes out shinny, clean and Chinese.

If this is a satire or a skit on a Saturday Night Live type of show, its still pretty offensive. Why didn't they use other races like Arabs, Indians or other people of darker persuasions? Why the black guy? How much did they pay him to knowingly disgrace his own race?

Hope it was worth it. Hope he built a big house with the money and is happy, because how he got the money is an act of blatant disrespect for who you are and who you represent.

Monday, August 27, 2018

Mou, Zizou and Woody

        
  Manchester United v Tottenham is a must win for Mourinho. Zidane is probably watching too.........watching his phone for that call from "Woody"

Thursday, August 23, 2018

Yapdem retelling of Idris Elba being offered Bond role

Elba says No to Bond



This is how it would have gone in the yapdem universe

Bond Producers: "Idris, we would love you for Bond, this is the right time..."

Elba: " Right time for what?"

Bond Producers: "You know"

Elba: "No I don't know"

Bond Producers: "A black Bond"

Elba: "I'll pass, don't want to be the "black bond" it's kinda corny"

(Sir Sean Connery's rep sends a text message to Elba while he is talking with the producers....text reads..."hey laddie, don't forget the money"....

Bond Producers:  "are we keeping you from something" (seem annoyed)

Elba: "No not all, how much would you pay me to play Bond? I mean it's gotta be more than Danny boy, and you gonna need to catch up with the Mission Impossibles...You know watta mean.....here's how much I want along with a Producers credit and final say on the script..."

( Idris writes how much he wants on a piece of paper and hands it to the producers. Bond producers open note and are wide eyed and shocked. They look at each other and scream..)

Bond Producers: "CONNERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                    (Sir Connery laughs from afar)




       

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Interesting fact about Rwandan President Paul Kagame

Rwandan President Paul Kagame has nothing to fear from his Vice President, cause he doesn't have one. The position of Vice President, of which Kagame used to be, was eliminated as soon as he became President.

Kagame has no Vice President

Friday, May 18, 2018

Deadpool 2 (DP2) one f****** sentence review


If you thought the merc with a mouth didn't talk enough in Deadpool, then Deadpool 2 will make your day.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Our favourite billionaire attended the Met Gala dressed as.......
Musk at Met Gala

He obviously didnt get our email....but don't fret, we have a copy of it below

Dear Mr Musk,

Please build that Iron Man suit and please makes sure it can be worn on you upon command. You are the hero we need.

Thanks,

One of your biggest fans

Ana Li
Sherlock Holmes returns?

The greatest hustle and it is legal!!!!!!!!!

So you go to a laundromat and you go to break a $1, $5, $20 bill for quarters. Why??? because the machines only takes quarters. You spend $10 of quarters to wash and dry, for instance, at the same laundromat.......think about it for a second......

You gave them $10 bill to get quarters and you get quarters to put back in the machine at the same laundromat.......

Wow....food for thought...

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Oprah? Your former show is calling

OPRAH ADVISES MESSI TO BE A WARRIOR

Former talk show Queen, Oprah Winfrey( who gave up her voice on her own platform and can't get it back cause Ellen took it and ran with it) has advised soccer great Lionel Messi ( who is the best player on the planet, untill he leaves the confines of Barcelona) to be a warrior. Her advice for him comes with the World Cup coming up in a few months.

Hopefully Oprah can go on the Ellen show and talk about how Messi needs to be a warrior. If only he could play for Barcelona at the World Cup😄

Friday, March 2, 2018

                                               Must keep tweeting, can't stop tweeting, won't stop tweeting..
                                            

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

What Elon Musk should have done

Canadian, South African American (rare tri-national) billionaire Elon Musk just recently sent his red tesla car to Mars. As in he attached his car to a rocket and boom shakalaka...

Musk, who sold Paypal to ebay for a nice chunk of change has already stated his future ambition to put humans on Mars in 2040. But we feel he has missed a better opportunity. Why not go FULL TONY STARK. This is what he should have done

1.    Get dropped off in Syria, Afghanistan or any worn torn country with nothing but a cell phone and dinner coat.

2.    Make sure you are taken captive.

3.    Convince your captors you can build a missile for them if they spare you.

4.     Instead use parts provided to build an iron man suit that you will use to escape and never take it off. Infact the suit should assemble itself on you upon command.

5.     Then pair up with Bill Gates, Aliko Dangote, Stan Kroenke and Oprah to form a super group and you can call yourselves the Billionaires League or something cute.












A Nigerian Governor's attempt to woo young voters. He treats them to what they always eat, jollof rice and "pure" water.

"Hey, Santa, next time try ice cream"

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

                                 " Please don't change the playoff format, I like sleepwalking through                            the eastern conference into the NBA finals every year for the last decade"

When Buhari met Trump

                                         Buhari: "Mr President, good to see you again"
                                         Trump: "President Buhari, I welcome you to America"
                                 Trump's 💭: "Don't say Sh*thole country, Dont say Sh*thole country"

Mavado - Aktion Pak

                                             
                                                         MAVADO - AKTION PAK

Sir Nelson Mandela? Make it happen Lady

Dear Queen Elizabeth II,

Congratulations on your 100th birthday or whatever your age is. We are all getting older, but you remain forever young. I just have one major question, why hasn't the late great African icon Nelson Mandela been awared a knighthood?

This is a man that gave up his freedom and most of his productive life to fighting the oppression of his people by white people, in his own country. During his time in prison, you did nothing to help get him released. He finally gets released from prison, runs for President, wins and unites. Then he does something very UnAfrican.....he does one term in office and hands over.

It has been years since his passing and still no knighthood. Does he have to be an old English, Welsh or Scottish actor or musician to be knighted??. Even David Beckham is begging for a knighthood. Please do the right thing, Sir Nelson Mandela has to happen.

Yours Sincerely,

Avo Bode and other African Diasporians


Better than Oatmeal and Grits

This is the best breakfast ever. Yes we said it and it's so easy a cooking novice can make it.

INGREDIENTS

GOLDEN MORN (as seen in above photo)

MILO or any other powdered chocolate beverage

POWDERED MILK


HOW TO
First you boil water. If you do not know how to boil water then please stop reading and go to a fast food restaurant.  For those who are still here, you are boiling about half a kettle of water.
While the water is boiling, get a big breakfast bowl and pour in your prefered amount of Golden Morn. Then pour in at least 3/4 amount (comparable to Golden Morn) of Milo or your prefered chocolate powdered drink. Then pour in 1/2 amount ( comparable to Milo) of powdered milk.

Stir contents till they are evenly mixed.

By now your water is hot and boiled. Pour the water into the bowl and stir lightly. If you want a thick breakfast, then pour less water.

It's healthy and does not have the excess sugar of today's cereal.

Please drop a comment and let us know what you think. It will not change our opinion that our breakfast is the best.

Monday, February 19, 2018

Black Panther

The hype is real, Black Panther is an absolute delight. The latest addition to the never ending Marvel catalog of films that tells an ongoing modern story in an alternate reality.

A story of an African king who is not ready to rule but has to, after the death of his father.A leader who selfishly wants to help only his people and not share the treasure and power they truly posses. A power so great, it will cause untold damage.

Chadwick Boseman leads a predominately black cast of well known actors and actresses from Forest Whitaker to Angela Basset, from Dana Gurira to Lupito Nyong'o and a charmingly roguish performance from Michael B. Jordan. Jordan plays the villain Killmonger in this movie and is directed by Ryan Coogler, who he worked with on Creed and Fruitvale Station.

This African story is a rich one that mirrors what several African countries have faced and continue to face
                           *  stolen African artifacts in an English museum
                           *  natural resources that attract foreign looters
                           *  relationship between Africans and African Americans
                           *  Leadership handed from Father to son without an election

The pacing and and comedic timing is excellent and you are left entertained without too much politics in your popcorn.
                       








                                        


                                         Afro All Stars tribute to Fela

" Neymar is the Kim Kardashian of football" - Joey Barton